Recently, Darrielle have been trying to mouth everything, including her mitten, our sleeves or shoulders... Especially during night time before her sleep... Normally I would juz latch her on, she would feed, then do some comfort sucking before dropping off to sleep..

My mum has been pestering me to give DD the pacifier.. Last night, my mum was trying to put Darrielle to bed earlier, but baby can't sleep and kept trying to suck everything.. Then my mum said to my Darling that, '你mummy没有用的, 不让你吃tutu, 很zek ark..' (translate: your mummy very no use, don't let u take pacifier, very blackheart..) =( Then for the whole night, she face black black didn't talk much to me.. (Normally when we wake up to change diaper or Darling's feeding time, we would chat until Darling goes back to sleep and light goes off)

She was blaming me that i very troublesome, this also cannot that also cannot.. Don't want let Darling sleep sarong, don't want let Darling take pacifier, don't want let Darling take water or use bottle.. haiz..

But i'm holding back the pacifier for fear that Darrielle might grow very addicted to it and nipple confusion.. Then in future very hard to wean and might interfere with her teeth growth..

Nipple confusion, i tried it once, its more than enough.. One of the rough patch that makes me wanna give up breastfeeding.. Coz i gave Darrielle the bottle the 2nd night home as she was crying frantically from hunger due to me not latching her on fast enough.. She got nipple confused the 3rd n 4th day.. She couldn't latch on and trying to breastfeed her turns into a war.. Thankfully I got some great encouragement and advise, insisted on direct latching throughout, and she finally manage to latch on successfully again.. I'm not goin to take risk again.. Doing direct feeding 24/7 now.. Going to do it all the way till 6weeks when i'm preparing to go back to work then intro bottle again.. Thats the earliest..

Theory is easier than practical.. Only when i tried breastfeeding, then I understand why so many Mommies didn't manage to breastfeed successfully for long.. The first week is horrible.. I had cracked and bleeding nipples.. Each time my Darling latches on, I would close my eyes, take in deep breaths, dig my fingernails into the blanket, pillow, or just my own skin to control the pain... After each feeding, I apply breastmilk and the Medela cream religiously.. I thought that it would never heal.. Thankfully, now the wounds have healed, but I still gets sore nipple sometimes when Darrielle did pro-longed comfort sucking.. To me, I have crossed over the painful part, so I muz jia you~! Hope time pass, and I can breastfeed my Darling as long as possible.. Cheers~!